woh aake KHwaab meiN taskeen-e-iztiraab to de
wale mujhe tapish-e-dil, mazaal-e-KHwaab to de

Start the day, with the thought of death and live the day little close to the way it should be lived. For we do not know anything and atleast enjoy the ignorance.

I do not have any advice for you, I am as good or as bad or as confused as you are, Neither do i have anything to teach i myself is trying to figure out ways, in fact i cannot even guide a kid. Nothing of mine will fit anyhow (i may increase your confusion) what ever will fit you will not need words it will any way transfer to you, just by seeing, but yes i can tell you someplace which may have the answer to your quest, go to your heart, it knows... all . While laughing look at it while crying look it, before anything seek its permission and you will see it silently/calmly guide you. Like a yogi sitting at one place roam different worlds.